“How was your day today?” My roommate asks me this question just about every day after I come home from my 9 to 5 shift at my corporate job. My answer of “fine” or “good” really just masks the answer I want to give… “as soul crushing as the last.” 

Alright, I’m definitely being dramatic here, as I quite enjoy the steady routine that this job allows, but I can’t help but wonder what my purpose is.

Some days it feels like the biggest decision I make is what’s for dinner. But this isn’t entirely true I suppose, because every morning I wake up and I decide whether I want to sleep another 10 minutes. Then I choose my outfit, something that screams “I’m a responsible adult!” Then I choose my hairstyle for the day. Then I choose what to have for breakfast but today I choose no breakfast because there is no time. It’s funny though, all we have is time in this world, and yet I’ve run out of it this morning because I must be at work by 8:30. I’m late today, but the world didn’t stop. I left without having breakfast, got in my car and decided what to listen on my 20 minute drive. Do I listen to indie? Country maybe. Ooh a podcast to stimulate my brain. True crime? Psychology today? Or maybe I will turn down the volume and simply listen to the crushing weight of capitalism weighing on my dreams. The options are metaphorically and ironically endless. Maybe choosing the music will be the biggest decision I make today. I go with some R&B, and think about diversifying my route to work, but there is no time so I take my usual route. This morning there is construction so that is why I am late. That and I stopped for coffee, which I had a hard time choosing because again, the choices are ironically… endless. I went with the gingerbread chai latte, falling head first into the trap that is the capitalistic consumer society in which we live.

Sometimes I think that all these small but numerous options we have to diversify our lives are given to us so that we feel in control. We all wake up, make our choices, and end up in the same places, doing the same things, at the same time. And then, we do it all again tomorrow.

Don’t worry, my next article won’t leave you as heavy as this reflection. In fact, it ties nicely into this one. And it’s more optimistic. But I shall leave you, dear reader, with this: pay attention to what you pay attention to, because you’ll find that this is where your values in life lie.